You know how sometimes as a parent it is suddenly brought to your attention that you have been handling some parenting issue very poorly? Is it just me? I had one of those moments at about 3 a.m. Devon awoke and came to our room to report that he had wet his bed. I reacted the way I always do upon being roused from blissful slumber to go clean up pee-pee. Ooooooooaaaaaahhh, Devon! Come on, bud! (whine whine, moan, moan.) Lincoln told him to go in the bathroom and get his clothes off. He went in to do that and i was about to get up to help him wash up, when he came back out of the bathroom and said he wasn't wet after all. I felt his pants and he was, in fact, dry. I sent him back to bed. A few minutes later I heard sounds from the other end of the house that suggested someone was puking. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom. There was Devon. Standing in front of the toilet with his pants down, sobbing. I went and put my arm around him and asked what was wrong. He told me he was afraid to go to bed because he was worried he would pee. I had him pull up his pants and i took him back to his room. I tucked him in and explained to him that it was not a big deal if he wet the bed. We would simply change and wash the sheets, and change and wash his clothes. There was nothing to get so upset about. Accidents happen and life goes on. I kissed him and told him to go back to sleep. Five minutes after I had climbed back into my own bed, I heard movement again. I got up to discover him in the bathroom again, trying one more time to pee. I got him back into bed and went through the whole reassurance talk again. This time I explained to him that it takes your body some time to make pee and I was SURE he would make it the rest of the night without an accident. I kissed and hugged him again, tucked him in, and went back to bed.
This morning he was so excited to tell me that he didn't have a pee-pee accident. He goes through little phases where he wets a few times in a week, then he'll go for a month or two with no problem. Just when we think he's over it, he wets a few nights in a row, or four nights in a week. And that's when I start my whining. Turns out my pep talk in the night was more for me. I was making him feel horrible about wetting, so much that he was making repeated trips to the bathroom in an attempt to squeeze out a few more drops of pee, so as not to have to face me in the night with the bad news. I feel terrible! Before he settled in for the night he had made several attempts as well. So I'm officially reminding myself that it's not a big deal if he has an accident. We'll just clean it up and move on, without guilt trips, whining, or moaning.