Thursday, April 3, 2008

Discuss, please...

When we decided we were done having children I felt a little guilty. Guilty because it's so easy for me to get pregnant, pregnancy is very easy for me, I enjoy, yes I said enjoy, being pregnant, and labor and delivery are easy for me too. I thought, it seems a shame to shut down such an efficient baby factory. I thought it would be cool to have a baby for someone who couldn't carry one of their own. I thought of my brother and his wife who have one child but have not been able to conceive another. But carrying the baby isn't the problem, if they could afford in vitro she would carry the baby herself. A couple days ago I read an article online about surrogacy. Couples will pay a surrogate $20,000 to carry their baby. I thought, Wow, I never even thought about someone PAYING me to do it. The article talked about both sides of the issue and the opposed side compared surrogacy to prostitution. It's just a woman selling her body. Now. I have to say, I really just thought of it as giving someone a great gift, but hey, I sure would love the money on top of that! So, is surrogacy morally and/or ethically wrong in your estimation? Is it messing too much with nature? Is it making the most of modern medicine? Is it an out for wealthy, vain ladies who don't want stretch marks? Is it just a questionable way for desperate women to get some cash? What do you think?

4 comments:

ERIN said...

I am all for surrogacy in the right circumstances. I wouldn't do it for a woman who just wanted to avoid stretch marks but I would totally do it for a family member (or maybe even a stranger) if they were in need. I do not think getting paid for it makes the woman a prostitute! That argument is ridiculous! A surrogate is helping a woman achieve something that she couldn't do on her own. I would say that makes her more savior-like then prostitute-like.

jessica, jessie, or jessi said...

I read the same article, I think...Only I read it in the current Newsweek magazine on the airplane. My initial feelings were this: I've always told my sisters that if they were unable to carry children I would do it for them...and like Erin, I would even do it for a stranger unable to carry their own child (But definitely NOT for vain purposes! Also, I wouldn't feel comfortable carrying for a homosexual couple.). Like you I love being pregnant so it would be a blessing to me as well. I do fear that I would become attached to the baby - despite knowing the baby wasn't biologically mine.

When I read how much some surrogates get paid I thought, "Bonus!" But then all sorts of questions popped into my head such as what would people think? How would I feel about myself? Would this be considered along the same desperate lines as selling your plasma or blood? Would the personal/emotional blessings from performing this act of selflessness be stripped away if I actually charged someone for the 'service'? If I needed a surrogate there's no way we could shell out $20,000 - $100,000! What about couples who desperately want children and would be able to provide a wonderful life and loving family, but don't have that kind of cash readily available? It seems wrong that only the 'rich' can buy womb-space. But then - if they're going to pay someone anyway, why not me??

These are just a FEW of the hundreds of conflicts I ran into while contemplating this article.

Sorry - I could go on for an hour about this! Interesting topic!

Molly said...

Jessica- I totally had the same thoughts about the money. It did seem like it cheapened it somehow, but exactly- why not pay me if you're going to pay somebody, especially considering all the medical ramifications of having a baby. Plus a healthy Mormon woman would be an excellent vessel, right? And I almost think it would be easier in terms of attachment to do it for a stranger, though the whole process would be so special with someone close to you. Remember on friends when Phoebe had her brother's babies? Remember when she wanted Rachel to ask if she could just keep one? I almost cried. It was so sad!
Kepp the comments coming!

gina bina said...

Thanks for saying hi today! You're incredibly lucky to be such a successful baby factory. I've never really thought about surrogacy before...but I think it's more along the lines of doing something great for someone who can't do it themselves.